These paintings serve as a duology to encapsulate the idea that grief and happiness can coexist.

​

​

Part 1: "Rage"

 

Acrylic paint on paper bag

33x35 in.

​

Rage. Betrayal. Depression. This painting was a cathartic product of intense emotional processing as I mourned a romantic relationship. I found myself almost going through the five stages of grief as the painting grew.

Stage 1: The big red gash. I wanted the page to reflect the wound I felt inside. I didn’t know where I was going, it just hurt. A scar I thought had healed turned out to be a scab throbbing with infection, and I didn't know what antibiotics to use to fix myself.

Stage 2: Venus fly traps. I wanted to move on stronger and focused. I did not want to be underestimated. I grew some teeth as I emotionally felt like a femme fatale. I mostly wore black in this period.

Stage 3: Prickly pears. I felt annoyed and irritable. Frustrated at the other person, and frustrated at myself. I felt stupid for emotionally opening myself up to this hurt, even though logically I knew that I had done nothing wrong. Things just didn't work out.

Stage 4: Yellow prickly pear flowers. I hoped that there was a point to all of this pain, and that it would result in an opportunity to grow. Perhaps, even into someone increasingly beautiful as a result of overcoming adversity and harsh circumstances.

Stage 5: Red spider lilies. I began working towards acceptance with what happened. I attempted to strike the balance between the sweet nostalgia and the sad, bitter memories that haunted me. The person became figuratively dead to me as this time, they abandoned me for good.

​

​

Part 2: "Restoration"

​

Acrylic paint on paper bag

32x33.5 in.

​

The last painting gave the perspective of looking downward into another space filled with carnivorous Venus fly traps, prickly pears, and spider lilies. In this companion piece, you are looking upward from within the pit with optimism for a brighter tomorrow. Celosia, birds of paradise, and dahlias are in immediate view, framed by the spider lilies from the past.